so. what's next?

hiks hiks hiks.
i am crying, wahahaha.
i am a baby then if i am crying right now.
well, the thing is, i am not crying. i am happy, and a bit sad, but happy.
i am happy cause at least i can be friends with him.
i am not asking for other things.
i am not ready to be in a relationship. cause i am not a relationship person.
i am still learning to be faithful, i am afraid that i can't be.
well, of course i won't cheat, but i am just not ready.
i can translate this, be happy because this is the explanation :

"jadi, gue bangga2 aja kita masih jadi, temen, maaf banget karena gue bilang kalo gue belum mw pacaran karena emang gue belum siap. karena juga gue anaknya gak bisa setiaaa. hehehe."

i am not searching for another guy, i am still being me.
so far, i have liked abot 13 or 10 guys. i don't feel like i have to see another, cause i already have seen 13. i just need to choose one of them.
but i think i don't really wanna see guys right now.
dangerous, unbelieveable, and i need a break. i am just tired.
tired of liking and i am afraid that i'll dissapoint them.
i am mean, but i have feelings. of course.