dig that.

do you believe that i once did almost everything for a guy?

do you believe i once cried all night long just for a sick motherfucker?

yes i did those.

tears i have dropped, let them go, i dont really care. for me, those tears were quite worthy. and the recovery all i do was just, search for another challenge, love, enemy, friends, and yeah.

life is short. thats why, everyday i wake up in the morning, i ask myself : damn it's monday already? shit.

i thought it's just another saturday to be enjoyed. time goes faster friends. i hate that. it was like yesterday, i got back from medan, and could still have another days for my holidays.

it seems like yesterday my sister just got back from melbourne, but she just got home to melbournes on last thursday.

and i miss her.

i miss my sissy, i smuggled a paper saying : i miss you already and some others to her handbag. cause i know that night, monday january 22nd 2010. another tears are going to be dropped because of missing her.

she texted me, before she took off. she said : i'll see you soon, ya sayang.

in my heart i said : i cant wait for that, sis. so cant wait.

and then, i cried with the help of my tears, my eyes screamed.

everytime i look up, i always say to myself, God, what will my future look like? where do i go from here?

and i friend said to me : anything can happen to you at all times, but dont forget one thing, PRAY.

he said that to me. HE said that. thankyou, tallu.

aww, thanks.

maybe another day, i'll meet another problems, another guys and gals, another enemies, another temporary stops, and another YOU.

i cant wait.

surviving myself.

save ourselves. save them. have you saved you?

have YOU said "thank You God for this great day/bad day/ this problem/everything." have you, at leats once, yesterday, today?

every prayer MUST start with a grateful little sentence :

"THANK YOU, JESUS/ALLAH/LORD/GOD/you own god"

have you made someone cry/happy today? i have.

i have made my sister got mad at me at church today. i felt like a great sinner.

remembering how bad and how this life is fucking me off everyday. always, ALWAYS makes me wanna cry, but PRAY.

like always, i know, as you see from my writing, i am A JERK, a hateful girl, and yes, i hate people a lot. but God said to not hate. so ta-dah. im trying my veryveryvery best to stay like i am, to change my suckyness, to be better every second, to learn every day.

and not just every pages i turn on my school books.

im jealous. HOW I ENVY with your life, peeps. my girls got accepted in SANCTA URUSULA HIGH SCHOOL. and me? DAMN, i dint get in, friends, i didnt.

i DIDNT. and everytime i remember that, i cry. I CRY, motherfuckers!

and you know what? school? DONT EVEN GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME, MAN.

dont. because i know i aint smart, im stupid.

my math is FUCKED UP, and my physics is FUCKED OFF too.

im facing it, im facing it. argggh, i just seem like a stupid motherfucker.

stupid motherfucker.

but heyyy, i just have to be grateful again because, i have been accepted in a christian school, SMAK 3. i hope i can be developed there. just praying that i can do.

the math and science there are HARD peeps. so can i stand them? so can i face them?

can i, God? can i?

orianthi & steve vai. DAMN!

HEAVEN.

have i told you about this kidd?

SUNGHA JUNG. the coolest guitarist i know. HE IS THE COOLEST, the BEST! hah, he is the best.

argh, speechless. damn.

you are my pain in the butt.

i hate you. you have been stressing me out.

be a man, man. jerkies.

THE REV, the bet drummer i know, has gone away last december.

i want tattoos so much, i would make myself like :

pull me back. pull me in.

youre steering me wrong, person. you're steering me wrong.

this is for you :

FUCK YOU. FUCCCKKKK YOUUUUUU.

sometimes i taste death.

the abstraction of emotions is quite weird. every place is a school and a home. but do you feel like it is? do you feel like they are? do you feel comfortable with you are now?

im not just comfortable, im SATISFIED to what God has given. He has given MORE THAN ENOUGH.
i quite big house, blogs that i can share secrets with, facebook account that is full of friends and some other cute little bow wows and katy perrys.

i say myself as a female version of a hustler. ahah. yes, if you dont believe me, i wrote that on my one sentece "about me" on twitter. damn i did.

i love teasing and making myself cheap. but i aint cheap, i am a girl that souldbe respected. even though i dont respect myself. well, actually, yes i do give a fuck about myself.
a fuck means, yaaaaa, ALMOST EVERYTHING.
i think the risks, the chances, and the concequences.
damn i love taking chances. but sometimes i dont really get none advantages. SHIT.

but at least ive tried right? right?

i taste death because, well, i just taste them. when i almost got hit by a bus, wen i really got hit by a motorcycle. when i crashed myself until my mouth almost got broken.
well, thats temporary death.

and this home, this seat that im sitting on, and that school that i go, are just my temporary homes.

lowe.

the jawa batak girls aka THE JB GIRLS.

i love you... (?)

love is a really big heavey but yet short word.
means ALOT to lots of people.
but for us the teenagers just to fulfill our days.
i love that guy i met in the street, i miss and love a guy named mark i met in a transjakarta bus, he was one of the nicest guy i have ever met :)

i love her. i am a lesbian. i am gay. i am bisexual. but yet im straight. because love is a universal language. love makes us choose, so we can choose to love girls or boys.
well, i love boy(s) HAH.

thats why, because i love too many people,i would rather not saying "i love you" to anybody at all. except, my sisters, my brother, parent, mamas, papas, ans yeah, fams.

i heart them.
but, hey, i LOVE YOU. yes YOU, you dont have to look back nor left nor right. it's you, the one who's reading this shitty post. I LOVE YOU. and no repeatition. hah.

HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND, LOVE.

this one made me cry once

reminds my of my grandpapas and grandmamas. i love you.

listen one thing :

i know i have something in mind, and you guys seem like adding me on facebook. well, im telling ya, KNOCK IT OFF.

sorry ssooooooo ssorry but i dont know you, and i dont approve people i dont know.
thats why. i have friends that have added people that dont know and guess what this happened to them :

a guy : have you ever had sex?
friend : na ah
a guy : why? sex is good!
friend : ...?

i know i know, you guys are unlike this jerk, but im just not adding people i dont know, love. sorry.

do the butterfly....

one thing imma tell you about liking people.

here it is :

if you like a girl, DONT EVER EVER DARE TO GIVE HER UP. nope, dont throw your hands down kid, im warning ya.

if there is another man liking that girl and getting a special posistion, back up a little. when there is a little space, KICK HIS ASS and take the chance. REALLY, i aint lying.

girls love boys, well, a girl LIKES boys.

because i know that a girl cant just stick to one man. really. well, thats me.

but dont worry baby, ive changed my ass up.

well, if you like a boy, DONT EVER GIVE HIM UP! dont ever DO NOT. i warn you too kids. boys thise ARE WEIRD, if they find out a girl like them, THEY WILL STAY AWAY FROM YOU.

well, i'll tell you, guys like them, HAVE NO CUTE PERSONALITIES! they dont act cool like you guys. REALLY.

THEY ARE NUTS FOR STAYING AWAY FROM YA. i mean, we're not even affected with HIV/AIDS but they stay away from us. HELL. they're jerkies.

if a guy finds ut that you like him, he is supposed to SHOW OFF in front of you and act really gentle with you. but guys with small hearts dont do that. WHAT A PITY.

(i just realized one thing, i should have stayed away from gusy who like me, WHAT? like there is one? well, i know there is one. but i have somebody.)

one more thing :

LIKING A GUY/GIRL is not always about gonna-date-them, but it's about STEALING THEIR HEARTS! steal their hearts, eat them, bite them, lick them, feed them, do whatever you like. because once you got it, she'he is begging you to give it back. but, guess what? they dont know how to get their hearts back, unless, YOU HURT THEM FIRST.

well, there are some deadly risks. but screw them now. liking guys/girls is fun. for me.

the sadness, the rejects, the approvals, and stuff.

it's fun. like finding peanuts and nougat in your favorite chocolate. umm, i love ferrero.

crrosing you out.

as a friend, as a person, as a living hell.

hah, i dont know what im talking about because, the point is : IM TIRED.

im tired of YOU.

one thing before i go : this bitch gotta stop asking me for a chat on msn.

daaaammnnn, im tired.

im allergic to stupid shit.

is it really my FAULT, darl?

shit, shit, shit.

do you know what really breaks FRIENDSHIP?

ask yourself. i really hate myself right now, dammit.

this motherfcking person has broken my salty day. hell no.

at this very moment, on this very uncomfortable sit, and in front of this very computer of ours, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS PERSON.

stay away? NAH. act cool? MAYBE, BUT? keep it up? ARE YOU NUTS?

can you tell me that i have other choices? one? two? more is okay too.

seems like everybody is blaming me for this shit. damn thay cannot. well, fine, then, they can.

i just have to lose, again and again again again again.

FUCK i hate losing. but i hate winning.

darl, again, im telling you, im not STAYING AWAY from ya, i heart you like a realy good friend, i care for you because you're like my really-good-friend. dammit the hell.

do i have to tell you TWICE? about this thing. this thing above?

i have somebody.

you want pixie? i'll shoe you pixie.

i cant believe lady gaga brought a MONSTER to manchester!

heyy bitchess.

Haha, sorry for my entertain that doesn't and reaalllyy, NEVER gets you guyss. I totally undrstand that haha.
well, what have you guys been doing? I'm soo bored right now but ugh lala. Daaamn they are talking about school and. I'm sick of hearing it maaaaaaannn! Daaammit. Yeah FYfuckingI I didn't get in the school I wanted to be in. Fuck ye? I'm soo hurt but I'm tired of cryin all daaaaayyy!but as katt williams says : LIFE IS SHORT THATS THE FUCK IM SAYING.
so that's whyy, HAH I'm tiredd bitch! I just wanna go to that school and KILL that woman. Daaammnn what's happening to me man? Gotta stop this SHIT.

desering good things.

yeaah, i deserve them. HAH.

naah, maybe im just too selfish, but this is life, you do good you are good, but you die. no, how can i say this clearly really? damn.

life is good :)

dirrtty.

i swam today, i feel great right now. i havent swum for like ages, and finally i did today, hell.

oh today, i straightened everything, yes, i just love to say it, EVERYTHING. well, hate to say this, but not everything really.
cry man, cry.
im just wearing a short skirt and a tee saying : i heart LA.
damn i miss LA.

im tired, but im too tired to fall asleep. i have to do something before sleeping also.
arggh, why i cant just be clean automatically? dammit.

its late. i gotta sleep.

ARE YOU NUTS? no im not gonna sleep, this is too early. asyiks.

what a??

HOMEsty.

i am home, i said it frankly.

and i can sleep tight now.

new girl in town! shit i cant wait for this movie!!

i dont determine. i ask.

when you found out a person is falling for you, what would you do?
i just dont give a shit. i'll try my best to just, act normally.

but this guy, didnt. BITCH, I HATE THIS GUY.
well, forget this guy, i dont wanna even talk about him, he is shit, and he is one of the YESTERDAAYSS.

yes, i say i dont determine because i dont. i dont like to decide what is gonna happen and what will.
hate it.
i dont control other's future, i'd rather focus on mine.
i would love to just ask.

do you like me back or not? because i dont want to shit myself for months, days, and years to just wait for you to like me back. SHIT MAN, i have a life. so, you like me or not?

i know his answer : nope. a total nono. i know that. but, i WOULD LOVE to ask that to a guy. i just dont know why, i have aboyfriend, THAT IS CRAZY.
a crazy girl like me has a boyfriend? until now i still cant believe it.
well, come to think about it.

and still,,,, I WOULD LOVE TO ASK THAT TO YOU.

because, everytime, i would love to move on, MOVE ON.

justtinn! ahah.

my heart is whispering something, you hear it?

i dont wanna tell him, her, nor the others.

my heart is saying :
"i love you, where are you now?"

never thought she asked a question. my answer is : i dont know where that person is right now, hon. dont know. I DONT KNOW.

im tired of thinking of you.

i have other problems i have to solve. dammit. i hate solving problems.
but, solving is like moving a bucket of water away to its own place.
and it's fun! aha.

well, you know what? im tired, in tied up. and it's not even fun at all.
(im thinking about omarion for a second....)
im back.

well, dammit this video is kicking my ass, NASTY. but like the beats. HUEY.


BACK ON TRACK, what was i talking about?
oh tired of YOU.
just wait for tomorrow, im gonna take this prob down.
im tired of that bitch hanging around my view. get off.
i hate that girl over there. damn.

stuck with celine dion.

im forcing you guys to watch these cool videos, im so gonna study french when im in high school!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKEA6T4egfc&feature=related

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33zrC-xqEIQ

love is,,,, overwhelming, huh?

Je Ne Vous Oublie Pas

means I Do not forget You
awwww, that is sweet :0
amused by you celine dion.

yes, i do not forget you, my past.
i remember when i was bullied, i remember when i was almost got hit by a shitty motherfucking bus, i remember when i was HIT by a motocycle (fun!), and more (im ashamed)
and i remember when i first met guys i fell head over heels with.

the gym, the course, the party, the swimming pool. aha, LOVE IS A MORON.
aah forget this thing.

THIS IS SCARY, but jennifer's body is sexy and SALTY, i love it!

MEGAN FOX!

gaga much? i love it!

what justin has? THE COOLEST SHOES.

that nasty man is UGH.

so, i know this guy. gotta say, I HATTTEEEEE HIM SO MUCH!

hate him. that is it.

and i know, that he hates me too. i know it. i soooo know it.

i care? nope, i dont even give a shit.

i even want to remove him from my facebook friends. he is so UGH.

i dont hate him like i wanna destroy his world, i hate him like, i just wanna get rid of him.

he is NASTY, ICKY.

he said that i am exaggerating, well, nigga, YES I AM.

everybody is exaggerating. gotta see yourself in the mirror and look what you might get.

a nasty man with a not-cool personality.

off of me.

see with your eyes, women.

damn, girls these days are blind or what?

obviously, with THEIR EYES, they can see that i have a status.

then why this person thinks that i still like that guy?

nigga, ARE YOU CRAZY?

no way way way. get the hell out of my face, my facebook, and my life.

i loathe you.

what the??

i dont know what these people are up to. but i just dont like the fact that they wanna test me blog! man, i hate those hideous stalkers.

stop it. stop!

"If you're a girl you have to become plastic and find a guy who's gonna take care of you for the rest of your life. And if you are a guy you have to become a caveman and hunt that girl down and fuck her. If you don't do that you're a fucking loser. So basically this is just a big joke."

YOU DOG.

thankyou baby.

thankyousomuch.

XOXO.

there is something i promised,

about two months ago, i was falling, deeply down for something. i loved it.
and yesterday, i have told that "something" i was falling down for "it".
that something said to me, "damn, i dont know."
me too, i dont know either.

but, about 7 weeks ago, i was this happy, nasty girl. i was a real JHS girl.
i was a smiler.
i was cheap.
BUT, i was happy. and you know, people pay HIGH to be happy, bitches.
me? i was a happy bitch. it was nothing incomplete.

and NOW, i am PISSED OFF. fucked off. because of the environment, the people im living with, the world im living in, and those stuff.

why is this happening? dammit the hell.

i want to be that bitch i was before. maybe i talk too harsh but, i just want to be happy, like old times.

justin, i guess im falling for you.

i remember rumba room.

stars wars drop a hot, i drop a hawt.

i know. i dont know her, i dont wanna know her. but i know.

im telling you one thing.

i know that you never been there for me, you aint there.
but im here. wake me up everyday, and i'll listen to your whispers and shitty talks.

i look scary, i sound nasty, but im here.

hate me, it's okay. because you hated me before, man, i know that.

but wait, one second.
NO, im not going to be there here or anywhere for you. i dont give any SHIT about you, because you never been there why am i now spending my shitty time waiting for your ass to at least come?
FUCK YOU.

i regret everything i have hoped and wished. because i wished for shit.
i got someone else more important. and i got other shit to do, and it is not even connected to YOU, sissy.

get a life or blind yourself. because you are the stupidest person I HAVE EVER KNOWN.

fighty.

you aint been in love

love is something. hahaha, i just cant stop laughing right now, im watching chris rock, russell peters, and katt williams.
i love these guys! so much. ahaha.

they teach me almost everything in life. katt has made me smile, he made me realize that i have to be grateful for my motherfucking life.
chris rock has told me that i have to satisfied for my man. for my life, and he told me to fuck michael jackson. hell yeah, i realized tons of stuff because of chris rock.
"titty sunday" - my fav.
russell peters always makes me laugh. everytime i am sad, i just need my ipod, i need to listen carefully to what they are saying, and i will laugh.

thankyou, motherfuckers, i love you.

Chris Rock, YOU ROCK!

im hungry, of food, of you.

never call, never text. great thing, huh?

btw, im really extremely hungry. but i dont know. i hate to study right now, i hate to live life right now. i just want to curl up and die. thats a great idea.

im needy, and im crossing you out. im crossing everybodys out. and im taking the one that is veryvery salty. i take you and myself.

what the fuck am i talking about? i need my medicine i guess.
well the point is, im sorry, but i dont feel like i do.
is it my fault is it yours, i think it's mine. no need to apologize because just lay it on me.
i know im wrong. im sorry. im so so sorry.

and now im full.

i love ya pixx.

the past was,,, overwhelming.

ahaha, so i fell for this nasty guy, used to. i was so looooooooong ago. i cant remember when. well, u actually i do, it was about a year ago.

i loved spending time with me, via facebook. we didnt talk, EVEN A WORD.
none, none, believe me, it was awkward, nasty, uwwh, and stuff.

also, with this guy, RGGGH, dont even wanna remember his face, his words, i hope he is dead by now.
naaah, he is not, he is in the same school as i am. and i dislike him. soso much.

well, who cares about the past? the future is funner i guess, and the present is too lovable.

thankyoubaby. i heart you.

so, i just got a realllllllyyyyy goo goo good news. that really bumps my heart. ahah.
i just had a kind of nasty nasty talk with my someone. ahah.
really nasty talk.

and i was hearting that person. ahaha. really hearting. i love youu.
well, nasty talks happen all the time. and i know that i wasnt serious.
i started it. and i hated the end, but my bumpy eyes loved it :d

PIXIE LOTT.

aww, pixie is the my favorite :)

pixie lott - gravity.

Gravity, gravity, gravity, gravity, gravity, gravity
Stop pullin' me

I know that you still haven't found you
And when I wanna stand on my own two
Suddenly you start to show
Signs of what is possible
Then you're back to your ways and I let me down
Tell me why I keep tryna stay around
When all my family, they always tellin' me be through with you
I know that deep down, calling time on you, on you, on you

Everytime I'm ready to leave
Oh I seem to be pullin' in the wrong direction
Divin' in with no protection
And you can't keep steering me wrong, oh gravity
Pulling me back, pulling me in
Why you pulling me back, pulling me in
Just like gravity
Gravity, gravity, gravity

I know I betrayed what I'm made to
Ignore the Universe when I see you
Cos everynight the stars will shine
Merging into U-turn signs
Anything that they can just to change my mind
When I pass your road, I can't help rewind
What is wrong with me
All that I wanna be is through with you
And I know that deep down I'm calling time on you, on you, on you

Everytime I'm ready to leave
Oh I seem to be pullin' in the wrong direction
Divin' in with in protection
And you can't keep steering me wrong, oh gravity
Pulling me back, pulling me in
Why you pulling me back, pulling me in
Just like gravity
Gravity, gravity, gravity
Gravity, gravity, gravity
Stop pullin' me

Gravity, gravity, gravity
Gravity, gravity, gravity

Be quiet, let me leave, let me go
Don't say another word cause in every sound you're pullin' me down
Baby, you got a hold on me, like gravity
Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay

Gravity
Everytime I'm ready to leave
Oh I seem to be pullin' in the wrong direction (Pullin' in the wrong direction)
Divin' in with no protection
Oh you can't keep steering me wrong, (no) oh gravity
Pulling me back, pulling me in (Pullin' me back)
Why you pulling me back, pulling me in
Just like gravity
Gravity, gravity, gravity
Gravity, gravity, gravity
(Gravity)
Gravity, gravity, gravity

a wrong diRESTion.

i guess i have a scariness (or whatever you call it)
you know my english SUCKS.

"stop pulling me."

i sometimes wanna kill myself, dont know why. i am liked but i dont feel like i am.
how come is that? people say they care, but they never look like. is it me thats wrong?
maybe.

changing my mind is very easy, depending on my consistency, i suck on everything, but i still do love myself. i love you, him, her, them, us, and i love ME.

i really wanna tell this to you, but im afraid to. i cant tell secrets to you no more. i suck yeah i know that. im getting the rely of it. KINDA.
but sometimes i put things in the wrong direction. not all the time, but yeah, like always, i always do that. sometimes takings chances and risks is fun :) hate me. i know that.
i trust people, but in the end, i fall. ah funny thing.

well, im holding on to myself. like im always. i trust myself that im going to do the right thing, the best thing, for me. individuality.

show it to me.

im listening to a song that tells about a girl that wants her man to show that he loves her.

uhh, show it to me too :D

but no, i know that he cares, he does. i know that.

but i dont know why, and i will never have one reason to give.

i just miss that guy. haha.

this is crazy.

jealous yes, oh what now.

im bored of watching the big bang theory. well, blah blah.

im tired to listen to my favorite songs. what now. well, i painted today. my painted sucks. well, i love it, at least. people say it'sm quite good, but i was so speechless because i was very (at least people get that "thing" in my art and painting)

love it <3>

my heart is blowing up, im pumping. i dont know, i received "a quite" bad news, but i dont know i was kinda sad. because someone's gettin back. nope! before you think too far, let me get this straight, i dont like this person, and for real I HATE THIS PERSON, because this person hates me too. why? well, people hate that's a problem.

oh wait, before i take off :

at first i was like, man, is this a girl singing or what? but i kinda like jason :) hah.

blame him for making good kicks.

so, i miss the hilberts so much!

so i was just checking my facebook, see notifications and stuff.

and i saw this video of my friend ans her brother. damn i miss them soooo much!

i wish i could go back there. huh.

yes, you'll be my best friend. damn!

So tell me can you dig it

Think of how good it could be girl

So tell me can you dig it

I'll always be your number one number one fan(dig that)

And I should be your one and only man

You should pick me

Yeah, you should pick me girl

You're my favorite part of the day

And every morning I look forward to me seeing your face

I just need to see it some more

Baby I'm the kind of guy who can appreciate a girl as

amazing as you

So you gotta be my baby yeah

Cause' we'll already be chillin' at the beach

I'll take you on a cruise we'll sit while we be eating

You can anything you want girl I'll be your best friend

But most of all baby doll you'll be my love love love

You should be pick me

So tell me can you dig it

I'm everything you need girl

So tell me can you dig it

I'll always be your number one number one fan (dig that)

And I should be your one and only man

You should pick me

So tell me can you dig it

Think of how good it could be girl

So tell me can you dig it

I'll always be your number one number one fan (dig that)

And I should be your one and only man

You should pick me

You should pick the guy that makes you happy

He could fly you somethin'

Pick the one that's got swagger

Pick the one that makes you laugh

The one that always got your back

Who would rather die

Than make you sad

That's why you should pick me

So tell me can you dig it

I'm everything you need girl

So tell me can you dig it

I'll always be your number one number one fan (dig that)

And I should be your one and only man

You should pick me

So tell me can you dig it

Think of how it could be girl

So tell can you dig it

I'll always be your number one number one fan (dig that)

And i should be your one and only man

You should pick me

You should pick me

(the real crystal truth)

Woah oh yeah

(Woah oh oh yeah)

Eh Eh

Woah oh oh yeah

oh hell. thoughts of the day.

go to hell, bitch. i dont now but those words keep hangin in my head. dammit whats happening? i blame you.

and listen, if you just dont fit, then dont push it. you're hurting yourself.

well, the thing that ive been thinking is jus one thing : wait.
we wait, right? you wait to read my next posts (when i really know that no one reads this, and people tease this blog haha)
you wait for love to come, when you just actually never realize that, you see, taste, feel love everyday, every second and time.
we're selfish cause we want more.

well guess what? you can get that easy.
just think about it this way : you, wait, older, and then you'll get your turn.

listen, God never stops working and making miracles.

lololove, night peopleee love ya.

-patish here-

justin

ke$ha you kidding?

so i was on my bed with my sister.
she was checking my ipod and listened to blah blah blah by ke$ha

she : what? just show me where your dicks at?
me : yeah.
she : well, how old is she?
me : umm, idk, about 23 i guess.
she : oh well, thats the spirit :)

dont be jealous, little kidd.

so, i met him today. i was so happy, excited and blah blah blah.
thats exciting, but skip that one :p


sooo, i was so happy because now i have protection. um, having this person is good. even though it's gonna end someday i dont know when, but im sure about the protection that this person giving slowly. i like this one. tease him tease him!

<3 haha.

all i can do is just : blog.

ohhh, im such a loser, mommo. ahaha.
gee, help me, jeezz, rescue me.
oh God, this is rough.

(forgetting nor even remembering that person)

i miss my blog. my single status. haha, not that i like being like this. but, when i read my long-ago posts. damn, people liked it. i got a hit.
i dont know if they still do. but i had a break for a little time.
when i was a full time blogger.
uh oh uh, i wrote all of my secrets here, with fake names.

i remember "apple", "orange", "meely", "hill", and more.
thoese guys were my guys. ahaha, i liked them so much. freaking much. i wrote how we met.

but most of all, i was such a hoe, and still is. HAH.

but most of all also, i remember the guy that made me cry all night long, everdy day, and because of him, i lost my little nasty smile.
that guy was "him". of course this is a fake name. but i just liked him soooo bad.

FYI : i have moved on.

i also remembered when i was trying to stuck myself with him for eleven months. ELEVEN MONTHS. well, he was the one that made me introduced myself to a personality called : consistency.
well, if that ELEVEN MONTHS wasnt called consistency and wasting time, what was it?
GASP.

"him" was the best. but i have found better. but i still dont know about this one. im afraid if i show off this kinda stuff. im killing this thing.

well,

-patish here-

i am item number 1347.

good morning, good evening, good avro, peeps.
hello im saying in every language :D

i miss you reading me shit and blogs. thank you.

hello there, i woke up today at 7 past a little. i really hate waking uo, but i had to jog, so yeah. mom please do not force me to go to do another one next week.

valentine's day. hate it.
but heyy, it's chinese new year. so yeah, i dont celebrate it, but HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR pweeps. have a blast one, k?

i just retuned back from my twitter account, and all im saying to myself is just. people are happy today. they're getting chocolate.
oh damn, thats it, im breaking out.

hahaha. why do we really have to celebrate valentine? valentine is dead, he is dead, and he was a person, called valentine.
and everyday is a "love" day.
people kiss, hug, mock, tease, breath. just like usual.

oh well, i guess im eating my chocolate alone.

why am i so pessimist this morning?
im blaming that bitch.

I NEED TO MOURN.

tau yang namanya DIGGY SIMMONS?

dammit the hell, he is fine :)

kid cudi kid cudi

thank you diggy.

no one should be based on who they are but more, so for what they do, people assume who is spoiled just like that as if they know that person's up bringing.

my thoughts of the day.

FY, dude, FY.
heyy guys, how are you? days are heavy these days.

i dont wanna say fuck you, but im just really mad. everything seems to really fuck with my everything right now. friends, things things, you, her, him, and that smart ass.
really like? friends, for me frankly speaking are not supposed to take sides, when problems are happening between friends in one circle. when actually none side has mistakes and has done something really bad. no, no, nor me or that person.

that person is nice, cool, and extremely a good person. i guarantee that person wont let you down. that im letting that person down. i care about that person, but one thing : YOU JUST CANT PUSH A PERSON TO LIKE YOU BACK, right? i mean like, yes, it is very very okay to like one person, but DONT TAKE ADVANTAGE!

well me, personally, yes, i have liked too many guys. im a bastrd, i was told about that before. but i get a long with bad words, bad personalities sometimes.
and i just like, okay thank you for your advice, have a nice day.
but i dont know. i cant get a long with my emotions right now. maybe tomorrow, next week, or will never.

i just dont know.

-patish here-

welcome to the real life, my friend.

we get rejected, we get accepted.
we're happy, sad, down, up, side to side, whatever.

but just so you know, ive like TONS of guys. and they played me. PLAYED ME.
so, you know, if i play hard on you, dude, sorry, i was played hard also.
but no, never mean to play on you. but please i have no feelings for you.

my heart is filled.
im thankful, grateful, and thankful to what have happened to me :)
he has tons of negatives sides. but i dont care. i love his positives. people can say their comments an opinions, but always at the end of the day, i aint giving any shit about what they say.

i care for him.

25 for haiti.

dont worry, i still pick my nose.

not much.

just not much. i decided to again back to writing blogs because, i was just checking this one blog. she is a quite nice girl i guess, cause i dont know her, and i know that i'll never know her.

and her blog was,, like,, not boring but kinda full of hate. why is that?
well, im finding out myself because she teases her mom via blog. THATS CUTE, bitch.
but really, never say I HATE YOU or MY MOM/DAD IS THIS AND THAT THIS AND THAT.
well, no matter what happens, you're kid. and always be kid. face it, kiddo.

and i dont know why, myself drove me to log in to my blog. and i wrote some stuff, and i felt like, blogging is fun.
but still, my blog is kinda full of hate lately. damn.

something's up, and i dont like it.

this is all about love. you know what? sometime we just have to blame everything to love. if love were a person, uhh, i would've kicked that sexy ass.

you know, i hate people, actually friends that say : dont worry, I GOT YOUR BACK.
and when you're in a quite big problem, you got nobody at your back.
i mean like WHAT THE FUCK?. fuck self esteem.
and also, they take sides too. O MY. they listen to stories that actually have been added with preservatives and chemical sweets also mono sodium glutamate. shortly : LIES.

WELL, GIVE ME A CHANCE TO AT LEAST TELL YOU WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING? I PROMISE I'LL NOT LIE.

so read my situation right now : FUCKED UP.
you know, when you're trying to be nice, but that person doesnt give a shit. that really gets your goat right? like, really fuck with your emotion.
what the hell.

im trying to give a little damn right now, when ctually i dont really care about any shit at all, because my problems are quite a lot lately. and im adding new stuff now.
roughly, i hate my life.

dude, give me a little break.

yo dude, listen,

I HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND.