watched, got hurt. shitty.

well, yeah, i am trying to not say any bad words, i have to change bad bad behaviour, but, you know what? getting mad is never good, ut i am really mad right now. right damn now. i just wanna kick my own but in hoping i can stop getting mad. i am mad. ERGGHH!
i know this isnt what i wanted. but, i cant take this things too serious. i am afraid they will take this thing seriously as well.

i hate being serious. i hate myself. i hate myself, because i am just too mean to others, no one ever teach me to not blame yourself. but, i always keep saying and keep teaching myself to not blame myself. because, that wont fix the situations. put some bet on it, if you have enough braveness, i can bet, i will, am going to win.

i hate because, let's just face it this way. think about, the person, that you adore, you love so much more than anything in this world, the person that you kiss every night when they get home, say this to you :
tai babi cia anjing kau.
in bahasa. in english. you dont wanna know. just think about something real bad.
like, a person saying that you are just a piece of shit that is incredibly selfish (about selfish, yea, i am selfish, just so selfish!)

i am happy, this is my life. what a happy life that i am living in. yea right, i bet they just see small stuff in me. you see, i am just a piece of shit in front of them. hell yeah!
happy?